Thursday, October 04, 2007

Birds and the Bees...

When our son was about nine he and I were watching the Fresh Prince of Bel Air while I folded clothes and he asked, "Mom, are they having sex?"

"Nope, they're kissing." I always believed in being truthful but giving the simplest answer...that way I'm not telling more than they are ready to hear. That philosophy always worked well too. Until that day.

"Well, what is sex?"
"That's when you are married and you want to make a baby... you have sex." This kind of answer usually worked for me believe it or not, but that day he kept asking question after question. I guess he was ready to hear. My ears strained to hear the sound of Joe's truck coming in the drive...his father would be the better person to do this for our son. I answered each one with simple answers...all the correct words for body parts...oh, darn, where is Joe???

"Do you and Dad do that?"
"Well, yes."
"Why, do you want another baby? What does it feel like? What's it like for the guy?"
All the hard questions......he was not letting me off the hook here! Mike looked astounded at what sex really involved. My heart was pounding, but I kept a cool facade. Finally out of questions he runs out to play.

Finally Joe comes trotting in from work. Well, good grief! I just told him everything. I quickly fill him in on what we were talking about and suggest that he may want to talk to our baby himself. Joe says sure, and then heads out to light up the grill.

Mike comes back in and I figure.......hmmm, Joe can fill him in here. "Mike, you know I don't know what it feels like for the guy, but I hear your dad out there and I'm sure he'd love to help you with that question...go ask him"

Mike ambles out there and I listen at the kitchen window. Joe says he hears we've been talking........Mike says, " you know Dad, it sounds kind of... (he makes a yucky face)." Joe says, Well son, sex is kind of like tuna casserole."

What is like WHAT? I'm thinking if you're going to use a food analogy how about steak, a hot fudge sundae, or maybe a Boston creme pie??

He continues, "When your mom makes tuna casserole, she throws in noodles, some mushroom soup, peas, tuna and a little milk. None of it sounds so good by itself but you put them all togther and heat it up and it's delicious!"

So there you have it. Sex is like tuna casserole.

Don't worry. A couple of years later while were on vacation at the lake our daughter started asking me the same questions. I told her "Look here comes your dad run and ask him." So they go on a walk and by the time they return she knows the whole scoop. He said he about lost it when he had to describe how the male anatomy works. But he toughed it out... you know, I didn't want him to miss out on the sweet moments!

This post was inspired by this post by Anne at My Tiny Kingdom. The woman is hoot and I nearly choked I was laughing so hard.


Judy said...

Yours is pretty funny too. I am still laughing.

Dot said...

So all those questions Mike and Colleen asked me were just to see what "I" know?! Just kidding! That story is too funny.

pedalpower said...

probably Dot....din't know you were being tested huh?

Julie said...

Oh - the girls here at work and I got a great laugh out of this story! Thanks for sharing...and I am not sure how I would have reacted with the Tuna Cassarole remark either????

Anne Glamore said...

Thanks for the shout out. Now I feel like I need to make some Tuna Noodle Casserole and have the best of all worlds!